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1988 TOM GRANT - "I
Remember"
THE crowd of '20.000' packed
the Glebe Park for the
crowning ceremony and
suddenly I was the focus of
attention.
Eddie Armit and I, in our
Scout uniforms, marched
smartly up the stairs to the
dais to salute the young
Queen.
We had rehearsed for days
but I was shaking like a
leaf, Silently, under our
breath, we murmured the
timing that had been drummed
into us. STOP "two-three"
SALUTE "two-three" STEP BACK
"two-three" - and I fell
backward down the stair.
Jim Cuthell and the
serenading Carriden Band
missed a beat trying to
stifle their laughter as I
stumbled back having
disgraced the Scout
movement, and tried to hide
my embarrassment in the
crowd.
It was a humiliating moment
- worse even than my anguish
when my Aunt Jane used to
shout out so that everyone
could hear - "Come on Tam,
lift your head, hup, hup,
hup," as I marched in the
procession with the 9th West
Lothian.
Moments like these may hurt
at the time but they are all
part of the magic of the
Fair - the greatest day in
the life of any youngster
born and bred in Bo'ness.
It's the Fair that sets
Bo'nessians apart from any
other person in the land.
In places all over the world
I have been witness to many
community occasions. From
grand state events to
intimate local frolics.
Some have impressed me, some
have left me cold. Others
have been lost, if not in
the mists of time, then an
over-indulgence of the local
brew.
But none of them have sent
the senses reeling or made a
lasting impact of these
special moments that go to
make the Fair.
I defy anyone - even the
strongest - not to shed an
emotional tear when the band
strikes up in the park just
before 11.a.m. and hundreds
of young, innocent voices
begin to sing.
See the summer sun is
gleaming, Shining bright
o'er land and sea.
It's a moment to make the
hair stand out on the back
of your neck.
The buzz that the Fair was
coming began days before.
And if nothing else we knew
it meant that our summer
holidays were coming as
well.
From birth we had been
weaned on the rhyme "The
morn's the Fair, And I'll be
there, And I'll hae up my
curly hair". We were poets
all.
In my day the excitement
began when we saw the Dads
and their mates beginning to
erect the arches outside the
homes of the Queen and her
entourage.
It was impossible to sleep
the night before the Fair
because of the excitement.
But next morning, we were
immaculate in pristine new
shirt, trousers and socks.
Many a pair of new gutties
got stuck in the tar - "and
don't leave the house
without your school tie."
On the day, our faces were
gleaming, our eyes wide with
the wonder of it all.
Some youngsters had
greatness thrust upon them -
especially if yours was the
featured school that year.
That's where they chose the
Queen and her courtiers like
the Champion and the
Heralds.
I always wanted to be a
Herald - maybe because I
fancied wearing tights. But
it was not to be. I was at
Bo'ness Public School at the
wrong time so a great day of
tradition remained
untarnished.
Preparations for the big day
take months and make plans
for the D Day landing look
like a picnic.
Hundreds of pretty dresses
have to be created and
made. Nothing must come in
the way of the desired
effect.
A few years ago staff and
parents from the Public
unable to get special
material from Edinburgh,
tried London. When that
failed they insisted the
supplier got it from Austria
- this wasn't for Princess
Di - it was for the Bo'ness
Fair.
Bands from home and abroad
have to be commissioned.
Floats and lorries have to
be designed. The adults
know that long sleepless
nights lie ahead if the
usual perfection is to be
attained.
But it is all the prelude to
a majestic occasion full of
pomp and old world
pageantry, laughter, songs
and fun.
With its Fair an old
Scottish town, that has seen
good times and bad, gets a
unique opportunity to put on
the style and invite anyone
who cares to join a grand
salute to its past and its
future.
I have a direct link with
its past. My great-aunt
Jane Grant, at 96, is the
oldest living Queen having
been crowned in 1906.
The pedigree of the Fair
stretches back to the end of
the 18th century when
Bo'ness miners wanted to
celebrate freedom from
bondage granted by Act of
Parliament.
There were horse races along
the banks of the Forth,
brass bands and parades and
booths, stalls and side
shows at Corbiehall just
like today. But mainly it
was a license to drink.
Many condemned them at the
time, But it was an all too
brief relief from the
harshness and inhumanity of
their normal existence.
Later the Fair became a
children's day for adults
for the whole town - and it
has moved with the times
without losing any of its
traditions.
The pageantry and colour of
the crowning ceremony will
go on forever at the Fair -
and so it should. But it
was understandable a few
years ago that an argument
began about whether Academy
pupils were too mature and
had grown out of the event.
It was not surprising. Many
a blossoming First Year
flower girl with a Samantha
Fox figure was stretching
the imagination a bit too
far.
The Academy agreed to make
speciality contributions.
Their first - the St.
Trinians Girls was a riot.
Some local bands feel they
should automatically take
part in the Douglas Park
revels. Others feel the
best international bands
available should be number
one choice. I'll leave the
organisers to sort out that
little polemic.
Vast improvements have taken
place in recent years.
Sadly we haven't yet got
much more industry or
commerce. But at least we
haven't got rows and rows of
high rise concrete and
glass.
Instead the planners have
held on to the vestiges of
the towns industrial and
seagoing traditions and
cleverly woven them into the
landscape.
The Fair and its future I
hope will keep pace with
these adventurous moves
without giving up all that
is best in its tradition.
Is the time right to use the
fantastic reputation the
Bo'ness Fair has achieved by
building around it a
national or even
international arena?
Is the time right to have
the Crowning Ceremony as the
climax of a week of national
events so well organised and
marketed that it puts
Bo'ness firmly on the map?
A lot of people would argue
that this is the road to go
down.
No matter what happens, two
memories of the Fair will
stay with me always.
I had a relative who was a
member of Kinneil Band who
will be nameless. One Fair
E'en he had "rehearsed" too
long and too well and passed
out, he knew not where.
Next morning at dawn he
heard the sound of the band
outside in the street. He
grabbed his uniform, ran out
and marched proudly playing
- alongside members of the
rival Carriden Band.
On another occasion I found
myself at a posh "do" in
Edinburgh and met, to my
delight several others from
my home town. Before the
evening was out we brought
proceedings to a standstill
by rendering several verses
of the Fair Song from the
stage.
The idea of inviting school
pupils to describe the Fair
for inclusion in the Fair
programme is a splendid one.
I liked the poem in 1982
from Kirsty Lockwood of
Bo'ness Academy. It ended -
There's nothing like the
Bo'ness Fair,
You've never
lived if you've not been
there,
From north and
south,
From east and
west,
Our Bo'ness Fair's by
far the best.
Hear, Hear!
TOM GRANT, Daily Record
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