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2006 DAVID PROVAN - "Are you
going to the Fair?”
I can’t remember the first
time I was asked that
question. I can, however,
remember the first time I
came to Bo’ness, over thirty
years ago. My brother was
playing amateur football and
I came to watch one of his
games in Bo’ness. The only
things I knew about Bo’ness
were that it was near
Grangemouth and that it had
a famous event known as
Bo’ness Fair.
As we travelled through
Grangemouth to Bo’ness it
became very foggy. The
visibility was extremely
poor as we approached the
town along the bottom road,
past Kinneil Colliery. The
town was very quiet, there
weren’t many people around,
everything seemed very
gloomy and dull that day.
Then, on the side of a large
building, I spotted a large
advertisement with a glass
of champagne. It looked
really out of place on such
a damp, miserable day but it
managed to lift our mood a
little. I later discovered
the building was a night
club called ‘McTavishes’ or
‘La Fabrique’. I went there
some time later with friends
to see a comedian called
Bobby Knutt. It’s a funny
spelling of his name but I
can’t remember anything
funny about his act.
We continued through the
town then up a hill to the
football pitch. I now know
that the game was played on
the pitch out at the Murrays
(or Muirhouses if you
prefer). As the game
started, the fog got thicker
and it started to rain.
Maybe my memory is playing
tricks but I also remember a
fog horn sounding. Our
cheery day was completed
when my brother’s team was
soundly beaten. We made our
way home disappointed but
with respect for the
footballing abilities of the
Bo’ness team.
Soon after I was offered a
job at Bo’ness Academy and I
was invited to visit the
school in the summer of
1977. I was travelling by
public transport from my
home in Bannockburn. I went
by bus to Falkirk then
caught another bus to
Bo’ness. I didn’t know where
the Academy was but someone
told me it was up the top of
the town. I thought Bo’ness
was a fairly small place so
I decided to get off the bus
as soon as it came into the
town then walk up the hill
to find the school. However,
this meant that I got off
the bus at the bottom of the
Snab Brae. I had a few hills
to climb before I got to the
school – late, harassed and
more than a little
embarrassed. Not the way to
create a good first
impression! Fortunately, I
had already been given the
job and started in August,
1977.
Although I can’t be sure, I
guess that the first time I
was asked the question ‘Are
you going to the Fair?’
would be sometime in
February, 1978. I say this
because it is normally
around this time of the year
when the Fair Queen is
chosen and people’s thoughts
start to turn to the Fair
Day. Although I have been
asked the question many
times since, I have never
been quite sure what is
meant by ‘going to the
Fair’.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
Does this mean going out on
Fair E’en, walking the
Arches, meeting friends and
acquaintances (some of whom
you only meet once a year on
the Fair E’en)? I always
really enjoy Fair E’en.
Gardens in the town have
been prepared to look their
best, new curtains in the
windows, and steak pies
ordered. There is a great
sense of expectation and
preparation. Ladies young
and old preparing their Fair
Day hair curlers,
straighteners and colours.
Gentlemen young and old are
preparing their Fair Day
hair zig zags. Tramlines and
plenty gel. It’s also a
first opportunity to see the
arches and house frontages
and, as the light fades,
many of them are brought to
life through imaginative
lighting effects.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
Maybe it means the Fair
morning, up bright and
early, everyone dressed in
their ‘Fair claes’, busily
going about their business,
making arrangements, meeting
up with friends, keeping a
close eye on the weather.
For me, it means a seven
o’clock start to the judging
of the house frontages. Last
year over sixty house
frontages, major and minor,
were entered for judging
digital cameras certainly
have their uses. Over the
years, the creativity shown
in designing and
constructing arches and
house frontages has never
waned. The quality of
construction was
demonstrated last year when
the arches and frontages
withstood the ravages of the
worst of weather on the Fair
E’en and yet were still able
to put on a memorable
display on the Fair Day.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
This could mean going to the
Coronation ceremony at the
Glebe Park. This is a great
setting for the crowning.
The Town Hall is a great
back drop and the Glebe Park
forms a natural
amphitheatre. The views up
the River Forth towards
Stirling and the Highlands
are stunning.
As the crowds gather from
early in the morning, there
is a huge sense of
anticipation in the park.
The participants arrive in
great splendour taking their
places, one by one, on the
stage. The whole event takes
place with such precision,
the culmination of months of
planning and years of
experience, leading to the
crowning itself at 11am in
bright sunshine!
I have not been able to
attend the Coronation for a
number of years. At 11am, we
are usually looking for
frontages around the Kinneil
Estate or trying to find a
house in Pennelton Place or
Liddle Drive, I’ve never
been able to work out the
house numbering system
there! I particularly enjoy
going around Deanburn
primary School as they
always put up shields with
my initials, making me feel
very welcome. This is a nice
touch but certainly does not
influence the judging!
The streets of Bo’ness are
very quiet, deserted, at
this time; everyone is down
at the Glebe Park. However,
no matter where you are in
Bo’ness you can follow the
proceedings from afar. The
public address system allows
you to hear the commentary,
the music and, of course the
cheering of the crowd does
not need the assistance of
any public address system.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
Going to the Fair would not
be complete without watching
the procession. Everyone
rushes to their favourite
vantage point to watch
bands, the primary schools,
the floats.
It’s also an opportunity to
shout, cheer, wave at anyone
you know (or don’t know) in
the procession and to
practise your spelling of
the Primary school names.
By this time, I am normally
back at the Academy with the
other judges. It’s time to
check over our notes and
look through the photographs
before we come to a decision
about making the awards. I
cannot remember a year when
this has been an easy
exercise and I don’t suppose
it ever will be. However,
once the decisions have been
made, we’re off to pin
certificates on frontages
and post prizes through
letter boxes. This is more
difficult than it sounds.
Firstly, you have to get to
the house with the
procession now under way and
many streets closed. Having
got to the house and pinned
the certificate, you have to
find the letter box not
always easy behind a
frontage. On one occasion,
we resorted to putting the
prize envelope under a plant
pot. We later heard it was
not discovered until the
autumn when the pot was
being emptied for the
winter.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
Another important part of
Fair Day is the Command
Performance in the
afternoon. After a quick
lunch and, if you are lucky
a quick nap, it’s off to the
Douglas Park to see the
Presentees strut their stuff
once more and to be
entertained by acts from
near and far. It’s also a
chance to slide down an
aerial runway, jump about a
bouncy castle, buy a plastic
sword, spray your hair
orange and eat a bag of
candy floss. If none of
these appeal you can always
just soak up the sunshine in
the company of friends and
family.
As the crowd shuffles out of
the Douglas Park at the end
of the Command Performance,
I suppose the end of the
Official Fair is drawing
near. The reception in the
Town Hall is still to take
place where, as in houses
all over Bo’ness, people
will reflect on how the day
has gone and already make
tentative plans for the next
Fair. The Fair celebrations,
however, are far from over.
Parties, barbecues,
karaoke’s all take place on
fair night and the days to
follow.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
There is one last bit of
Fair Day for me. It’s not
part of the official
programme of events, and not
part of everyone’s routine
but Fair Day would not be
these same without it. It’s
a trip to the shows. After a
bit to eat, we make our way
to the foreshore to have a
walk round the shows. I say
a walk round because the
chances of me going on any
of the rides are pretty
remote. The real reason for
going is to make sure the
Fair Day experience is
complete. In the preceding
twenty four hours, there may
be somebody you haven’t met
or spoken to, maybe your
face isn’t completely
sunburnt (or weather
beaten) from earlier in the
day, maybe you’ve lost the
flag you were waving this
morning, maybe you’re not
completely exhausted or
maybe you’ve still got some
money in your pocket! All of
these can be remedied during
an hour at the fairground.
Although the Fair is drawing
to a close for another year,
it’s still worth having a
wander round the town on the
days after the Fair. You
will meet other people doing
the same, looking at arches
and house frontages they
missed the first time
around, remembering the
events of the Fair Day just
past and Fair Days from
years past. If you’re lucky
you may even stumble across
a ‘Wee Fair’ where
communities in the town get
together to organise their
own version of Fair day.
It’s worth wandering around
Bo’ness at any time of the
year. I was fortunate to
attend the opening of the
Town Heritage Initiative
offices a few months ago. As
part of the proceedings
groups were taken on a brief
walk round the town centre.
We were encouraged to look
more closely at some of the
buildings we pass by
regularly without so much as
a second glance. When you
take time to look around and
look up, you can see a
number of attractive
buildings in a variety of
different architectural
styles. There are
engravings, gable ends and
many other interesting
features which can go
unnoticed as people rush
about their daily lives.
There are many exciting
developments planned for
Bo’ness which will reflect
its long history but also
help Bo’ness develop in this
new century.
The future looks bright for
Bo’ness and I am sure the
town and Bo’ness Children’s
Fair Festival (I thought I
would finish with its Sunday
name) will go from strength
to strength. It is genuinely
an event for the children
and it brings together the
community not just for
twenty four hours but
throughout the year.
‘Are you going to the Fair?’
I certainly am! Hope to see
you there, have a great Fair
Day!
DAVID PROVAN
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